Fu*^%%^#$#*^)*#$@!$## Server!

I’m still at work. 5 hours after I was supposed to leave. Different server, same problem today. Bad disk. I’m in the process of restoring data. All 18 GB of it. Lucky me. Killing myself is looking better all the time.

In case you haven’t noticed, I changed the page counter. I opted for the unique page hits rather than page loads. It’s probably more accurate as far as page hits go. I don’t know. Goodbye 50K hits, hello 32K. Who the hell really cares anyway.

Always look on the bright side of life….

Hey, remember that great feeling I had last week? You know the one, where things were changing to the positive.

Well, it’s all gone. I spent the weekend in a depressive funk that has NOT got any better. I spent the weekend watching some excellent bloggers leave due to hacking, cracking and general maliase. It they were not under direct attack by blog hackers, they were under attack for not being real enough. Ugh, it’s gettin’ pretty damn ugly out here.

The other thing that’s bothering me is that I’ve come to the realization that I will NEVER be happy. I bet I could win the lottery and not be happy. Look at my life: I have a hot, loving wife, three great kids, a nice house, a decent job, etc. etc. etc. Am I happy? NO, I am not.

Now some of you will be tempted to write me and tell me to lay it upon “The Lord” Well, guess what? I’ve tried that numerous times and got NOTHING in return. I’ve tried buying stuff, praying, meditation, exercise, money, drugs, alcohol, sex, plus numerous other outlets to make myself happy. All to no avail. I am destined to live out my life as an unhappy chump, always thinking that if I pray hard enough, if I wish hard enough, if I beg hard enough, I’ll get happy. Well, it ain’t gonna happen.

There is a bit of a calming affect to that realization. I no longer have to pretend or try to be happy. It’s just not gonna happen for me in this lifetime. It’s the way my brain is wired. Whatever neurons are short circuited in my brain, well, that’s the way it is. I guess the rest of the world will have to deal with it.

Hey, I did get one prayer answered over the weekend. I asked God, my dead adoptive parents and whatever saints would listen to give me five numbers in the Mega Millions drawing. Well, guess what? I GOT 5 out of the 6 winning numbers! The only one missing was the Mega Ball. Of course, you KNOW what’s coming next, right? Yeah, all five numbers were in DIFFERENT games. Who says the spirits have no sense of humor?

Edited: Forgot to mention, TW’s period arrived this weekend so no sex for a while. It came early, with no fair warning, surprise, surprise.

Do you hear what I hear?

Did you hear it? Did you hear the screaming and the moaning and the thrashing about? Did you? No? Well then, you missed one hell of a sex session last night.

TW and I had one hell of a good time last night. There was spoon, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and a fair amount of spanking involved. The evening ended with my face buried between her legs, eating her to several head crushing orgasms. I love it when she squeezes my head with her legs. That’s love baby, that’s love.