My daughter’s high school (and our surrounding community) has had a rash of suicides, murders and tragic accidents. This time of year is especially hard on us that suffer depression. Feelings of worthlessness, betrayal, hoplessness, abandonment all come to a peak around the holidays. Most people don’t understand, they just tell us to “cheer up, get over it, it’s not that bad.” Well, for us depression heads, it is that bad.
For those of you contemplating suicide, especially any teens that read this, please seek help. Talk to anyone who is willing to listen. I have links here and on Dear Diary that provide help to those who are suicidal. I was lucky that TW and I were thrown together. She hounded me and talked to me even when I didn’t want her to. She finally convinced me to seek help and I’m forever grateful that she did. It literally saved my life.
Please don’t feel it’s a sign of weakness to seek help. I felt that way for a long time. I thought I could pull myself up by my bootstraps and work my way out of it. I couldn’t. Luckily, the first med I tried, Zoloft, works for me. I’ve talked with others that it hasn’t helped, but there are other meds out there. The hardest part is to take that first step and seek help. I pray that you do.
Suicide is not the answer. I firmly believe I killed myself in my previous life. The pull to do it is so strong sometimes that it’s scary. I believe if you kill yourself in this lifetime, you come back to learn how to make it through in the next lifetime. Think about that, you come back here and have to deal with and live through the pain all over again. Me? I’m done with that shit. I’m going to stick it out, no matter what happens so I don’t have to learn this lesson again next time. Also, the pain and agony for those left behind is incredible. Parents, siblings, friends, classmates all bear the brunt of it.
If you know someone who is suicidal or someone who is depressed, don’t be afraid to reach out and talk with them. The least it does is show that someone, anyone is concerned. It may actually be the difference between life and death. I know without TW continually showing she cared, I would be dead. I KNOW it!
With that said, if you are suicidal or depressed and need someone to talk to, do not hesitate to contact me at mrmanicdepressive1 (that’s the number one at the end there) [at] gmail [dot] com.
Thanks for listening.