Long Walk On A Short Pier

The magical time of the month has arrived, so, no sex for the MDs for the next few days. BUMMER!

As I get older, my introspective moments become more numerous, and, quite frankly, more disturbing. I spend way too much fucking time playing Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda on the drive to and from work or when I’m falling asleep. Fucking brain!

I’m hoping it gets warmer soon. I miss the wonderful cleavage on display at work.

I realize now that I’ve been full on fucked in head for most of my life. Part of that wonderful introspective crap I was talking about.

Despite all the sex TW and I have, I’m a very pitiful, sexually frustrated, little man. Yes, I said, PITIFUL.

As I age, I’m realizing that my life will never be fulfilled. I will die a failure on so many levels it’s not even funny.

Boy, the spam here on the blog has really ratcheted up lately. I wonder what the fuck is going on?

The more I drive in rush hour traffic, the more I want to kill people.

The more I work with consulting firms, the more I want to kill people.

The more I think about former friends, the more I want to kill people.

Being off Facebook  has been fun. Although I feel the tug to go back, I just remember the people I was “friends” with and realize I’m better off without them.

TT is back from maternity leave. I really want to “milk” her. (see pitiful, sexually frustrated, little man)

I have a habit (no, it doesn’t involve sex) that I have had longer than TW and I have been together. 37 years and still going strong. That would be the habit. TW and I have been dating 34 years this year.

I will love all things pornographic until the day I die.

It’s time to take a long walk on a short pier.

7 thoughts on “Long Walk On A Short Pier

  1. Hey Dude…… don’t be so hard on yourself..
    My wife was just pointing out an article that said; people that are “Glass Half Empty” types live longer…. So I’ll evidently be living a long time. I just appreciate you being a part of my longer life..
    I think I understand about Facebook. I’ve got a few people that I don’t jive with their philoshophies… so I just ignore some, and Hide those that are really annoying. I’ve lost some FB friends lately that I miss…..
    Take Care of yourself.. give TW some lovin for me…(when you can..lol)
    Al

    • Yeah, I read that about the Glass Half Empty people. You can count TW and I in that group as well. The way we’re both feeling lately, we’re gonna live to 150! FUCK!

  2. I know you don’t like it when i cheer-lead you but…what have you, right? 🙂

    What IS it with you men and the win/lose/fail philosophy?

    you are only as much a failure as you choose to believe (put that in your introspection and smoke it, Sir… )

    You have a lovely, nubile, frisky wife. A family of children who adore you. Sure, you may not be a millionaire. Most of us aren’t.

    I work 4 jobs. What some people would call “menial”. I could be all bummed about it…but I’m not. I’m so very thankful to have found these jobs after my job was phased out a year ago, in a company I’d worked for, for 30 years.

    I live a life of lies. I love my children, am fond of my wife, but my heart lies with my Master. I won’t tear up my family life for my own selfish desires. Does this make me better than you? Worse than you? Hell no it does not.

    Some nights I lay there thinking about why I am the way I am. Why I’m into porn. Why I enjoy being beaten, fucked half to death, being called a slut ,and a whore…Why at my age (mid 50’s) I’m hornier than ever before in my life.

    And then I realize, hell, it’s just my life and I can choose to enjoy the days I have left…or I can make myself miserable moaning about the fact that I’m not living with the man I love, serving as his sex slave.

    I hope you choose to be happier. To find the blessings in each day..they are many. I sincerely hope you aren’t planning on taking that short walk, and that you consider talking to a kink-aware therapist if you need to. I actually know one if you’d like information.

    Mostly, I hope you realize that you matter. What you do for work, how much money you make…none of that makes you special. What makes you special is who you are in your heart.

    in deep caring,

    nilla

    • LMFAO. I thank you for your concern. My post has more to do with my mental illness than it does anything else.

      “you are only as much a failure as you choose to believe (put that in your introspection and smoke it, Sir… )”

      No truer words have been spoken. Due to whatever retarded functions are happening in my brain, I can NEVER be truly happy. It’s just the way I am. I’m slowly coming to terms with it. TW doesn’t understand why I can’t look at the bright side of life. Her and her damned PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) It’s the way i am wired. Always has been, always will be.

      I do not judge other people, only myself. I always found it queerly sadistic that when something bad happens to someone, they thank god it wasn’t them. Or they bring up how much more fortunate they are due to god’s graces. Makes me sick really. I just want to reach into the TV the punch the mother fuckers in the face and tell them it had more to do with luck than any “kind, loving god” Gah, now I’m on a religious rant. FUCK!

      Anyway, I appreciate your concern and attempt to get me out of this funk. However, I discovered long ago that I LIKE being miserable. Again, whatever mental cross circuit caused this, it’s been part of me forever. It’s fucked up, but, it’s who I am.

      Dysfunctionally yours,

      Mr. MD

      • okay, phew. 🙂

        as long as you’re happy being fucked up…i’m fine with that. *laughing*

        I just wanted to be sure you weren’t planning on taking that long walk, yanno? Besides, who would so humorously oogle JLH if you were gone.

        I’m a pagan. You can rant about religious institutions all you want. 🙂

        and I’m gonna send virtual hugs to you anyway. I’m not skinny, nor any JLH…but I’m still gonna hug you. So there.

        So if you get into one of these moods, I’m still going to throw happy thoughts at you. Yanno, I used to be a pessimist. around the end of my 40’s I started to become more optimistic. Not sure what changed, other than discovering BDSM and getting collared in the last few years, but somehow I’m at deep peace with myself these days. (the Beatles Oh Blah-Dee, Oh Blah-Dah is running through my head now)

        Hoping you’ll be on the next happy train that rolls through…

        nilla

          • 🙂 yay for not so skinny women like me!

            and i’ll read that blog next week…and I thank you for sharing it iwth me.

            hug, and hope you and TW get to salvage some of your weekend…

            nilla

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